Chore Charts

Chore charts seemed like a good idea, a great way to make sure everything got done in order to have a clean home.  I have used them with the kids for years now… okay really I have struggled with staying consistent in using them.  I have recently come to realize that not only do chore charts create unwilling and self centered hearts, but they seem to result in discipline being developed in the one instigating the charts… providing the one instigating the charts stays consistent.  That would not be me.

Over the years Dan and I have had conversations about my little system and how well it worked, which would result with me defending my charts and Dan ending up feeling frustrated.  My defense was that they work “when I use them properly” and that I just need to do better to make them work - "so just leave me alone!"  I wasn’t getting better at making them work, and I wasn’t open to suggestions.  My attitude was self centered.

The beginning steps of developing a Lifestyle of Learning is developing character, first in us parents before it can be developed in our children.  As I mentioned in our story under the Lifestyle of Learning tab this process of developing character in myself is what has been missing in our education process.  Thankfully the Lord led Barbie and Marilyn into my life several months back.  Barbie and, at times, Marilyn spoke and continue to speak truth to me about many things which relate to developing Godly character in myself and then, as a result, in the rest of my family.  

About three weeks ago Dan and I had a different kind of conversation about the chores which resulted in a new out outcome.  I gave up my defensiveness and listened to Dan for a change and he listened to me.  The next day we sat down with the kids and began to talk about what was happening vs. what needs to happen around our home.  We talked about the need for each of us to become “acts of service oriented” which is part of becoming “extravagantly loving.”  This would include each of us doing “more than is expected” in order to be “useful” and “helpful,” going “above and beyond” what is being asked, and “seeing a need and taking care of it” without being asked.

We began to identify natural bents that the children have in helping around the house and gave them the job of managing that area of the house.  We discussed what “being useful” for a greater purpose than ourselves looks like.  Daniel and Alina embraced our ideas with enthusiasm.  We were taking away the structure of a chart, which was difficult for Sereina to embrace since she has a natural bent towards structure.  I have come to realize that, while her need for structure is a good thing, it can be out of balance and lead to a self centered attitude and a refusal to help above and beyond what is on the chart.  Tiana was neutral on the outside, but it was evident she was not embracing the idea.  With some encouragement and further discussion Tiana and Sereina came into agreement with our new plan.  


The next few days would reveal attitudes that were and weren’t so surprising…